Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Randomize
