So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
