You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
