Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
