Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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