one word: firstdatebathroomanal
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
