I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
