ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Randomize
