next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Hippo gnu deer
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
