it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
