Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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