So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
