So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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