Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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