remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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