Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
