god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
We're too hungover to prance.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
