mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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