i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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