I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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