Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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