sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
