Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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