he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
