I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
