A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
