Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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