Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
