So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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