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I wannas sexs uuuuu
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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