So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I want a musical about memes.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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