Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
