He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
