Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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