I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
