one two three fourrrrnication!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
