This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
