ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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