Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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