I could make wine with my vomit
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
