i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
