Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
