Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
should my penis look like a turkey
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
