do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
