Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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