HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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