Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
