where am i from again
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
