yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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