Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
